I am not writing my favorite quotes for every episode of Legends of Tomorrow because I found there were too many. Spoilers for episode 1 (Pilot Part 1). Just check it out!
Rip Hunter: Set a course. United States. Star City. January, 2016.
Gideon: Ah, the early second millennium A.D. The golden age of gasoline engines, online pornography, and those silly little smartphones.
The Atom: This feels good, being back in the field. Not that this is a field, but…
Green Arrow: Ray, are you up for this?
The Atom: Uh, too late to turn back now.
Stein: Caution, Jefferson, 83% of the chemicals in this factory are combustible.
Jax: Yeah, tell that to Rambo.
Stein: Thought I told you to be careful.
Stein: What’s the use of sharing my intelligence if you won’t listen?
Jax: Stop bossing me around like I’m one of your snot-nosed undergrads.
Hawkman: You, my love, almost got us killed.
Hawkgirl: Thank you.
Hawkman: Your flying is still clumsy, like a bird just out of the nest…
Hawkgirl: Well maybe that’s because up until two months ago, I was a barista, not some damn winged demi-goddess.
Rip Hunter: Have you two considered couples counseling? I hear it’s quite popular in this century.
Cop: Drop your weapons!
Heatwave: Ah, fry, you little piggies! A minivan? Really, Snart?
Captain Cold: Cops’ll never hassle a dad buying diapers in the middle of the night.
*Sirens wailing in the background*
Stein: I, um, I hate to nitpick, but doesn’t a legend have to be dead?
Jax: Yeah, see, uh, that’s a deal breaker for me, so I’m gonna pass.
Heatwave: I can’t believe you’re thinking of hooking up with the Englishman. We’re thieves. Crooks. Criminals. I have no desire to save the world. Especially 100 years after I’m dead.
Captain Cold: He said across time, Mick. What about the years before? Before fingerprints and surveillance cameras and DNA analysis. Why did we become criminals?
Heatwave: Because we hate working and we love money.
Captain Cold: We could steal the Mona Lisa straight off Da Vinci’s easel, snatch the Hope Diamond before it was discovered. This is everything we got into thieving for in the first place. More than everything.
Heatwave: You want me in, I’m in. But I’m not gonna be anyone’s hero.
Heatwave: Whatever you roofied him with, I’d like some.
Stein: I did not roofie him.
Heatwave: Oh, I ain’t judging.
Jax: Time travel. Cool.
Rip Hunter: Some of you may experience some slight discomfort. In very rare instances, there will be some, uh, bleeding from the eyeballs.
Hawkgirl: I’m sorry, what?
Stein: Jackson, I’m so glad you’re awake. I didn’t want you to miss this.
Jax: Miss what? What the…
?: Oh, no, I wouldn’t unfasten those if I were you.
Jax: Get me off this… whatever this thing is!
White Canary: Good luck explaining this.
Stein: I did him a favor.
Captain Cold: He doesn’t look all that grateful.
Jax (to Stein): I can’t believe you kidnapped me. Hey, I want to go home.
Rip Hunter: Good news, then. 2016 will be around in, uh, 41 years.
White Canary: I thought we were a team.
Rip Hunter: This mission doesn’t require your particular skill set. Yet.
Captain Cold: Meaning you don’t need anyone killed, maimed, or robbed.
Rip Hunter: Precisely.
Stein: Are you coming?
Jax: I’ll stay put.
Stein: You’d rather stay with them?
Jax: They didn’t drug me.
Stein: Point taken.
Heatwave: Why does this stupid station play nothing but reruns?
Jax: Don’t even bother trying to explain.
White Canary: Am I the only one on this ship who could really use a drink? I say we go get weird in the ’70s.
Captain Cold: Excellent idea.
Heatwave: Ah. Dollar beers. You got to love the ’70s. Who wants to listen to some Captain and Tennille? My mother played it. A lot.
Gideon: You seem overwrought, Mr. Jackson. If you’d like to go to the MedBay, I’d be happy to prescribe you a sedative.
Jax: I do not need another roofie!
Captain Cold: We go out for one lousy drink, and you guys somehow manage to pick a fight with Boba Fett.
Source: Forever Dreaming